4.23.2010

Loving this Spring thing.  This weekend is rainy though.. my plans? work, babysit, create, rest.  What have in been doing? the exact same thing.  

This week I have been trying to think of myself as a little more independent.  It's not easy.  I wrote a little non-fiction story about myself the other day... it was for my writing class.  In the story I wrote of all the friendships I have had and lost and I wrote about lessons I have learned from that as well as my stay in St Thomas.  I came to realize that I have put my identity in my friends and my relationship and in losing those I thought that I lost me.  I realized that I was rocked more by those lost relationships than by almost losing my life.  That is a big thing for me to admit too.  It's embarrassing to think that I have put more of myself into relationships that I had invested in my own life.  This week I have been focusing on me.  Trying to put my identity in myself rather than others.  This isn't easy for me because I truly love the people I surround myself with.  How can I put my identity in myself?  I am forcing myself to take my time alone and feel confident that being alone doesn't mean there are no people in my life.  Being alone means I love being me, and I do.  I like to enjoy my quiet time and know when I am done I can see my friends again.  But right now I am learning that when I can't see the people I love it is going to be okay.  I can trust that they will return and I will see them soon.  Alone time isn't as scary as it seems when you trust.


Here is what my alone time looks like...      

Pretend Mustaches and braids with bows
Colorful nails and blogging time


Bon Iver Playlist...

And some stitching from Amy


What do you do with your alone time?

xoxo
cordelia

3 comments:

Wild Wild West Drive said...

I relied a lot on external relationships too when I was your age (omgoodness did I just say that? I thing that makes me OLD) but really, it's a great thing to remember. The people exist in your heart, and will always be there. Being good with being with yourself is really important, and realizing that it's also fun is cool. See you Wednesday.
ps looove the 'stache!

~Barb~ said...

With my alone time I listen to NPR (lots of NPR!) or to my "chick music", as the hubby calls it...dance around while singing wayyy too loud along with my favorite tunes...doodle and/or plan out new projects to work on in my studio...browse the net for way too many hours...but most of all, I spend it in my studio which is my haven.
Peace & Love,
~Barb~

Peptogirl said...

Cute photos! I love how your owls turned out - beautiful color choices!

I think a balance is good. It's hard when people let you down so knowing you always have yourself is a good thing! *hugs!*