Loving this Spring thing. This weekend is rainy though.. my plans? work, babysit, create, rest. What have in been doing? the exact same thing.
This week I have been trying to think of myself as a little more independent. It's not easy. I wrote a little non-fiction story about myself the other day... it was for my writing class. In the story I wrote of all the friendships I have had and lost and I wrote about lessons I have learned from that as well as my stay in St Thomas. I came to realize that I have put my identity in my friends and my relationship and in losing those I thought that I lost me. I realized that I was rocked more by those lost relationships than by almost losing my life. That is a big thing for me to admit too. It's embarrassing to think that I have put more of myself into relationships that I had invested in my own life. This week I have been focusing on me. Trying to put my identity in myself rather than others. This isn't easy for me because I truly love the people I surround myself with. How can I put my identity in myself? I am forcing myself to take my time alone and feel confident that being alone doesn't mean there are no people in my life. Being alone means I love being me, and I do. I like to enjoy my quiet time and know when I am done I can see my friends again. But right now I am learning that when I can't see the people I love it is going to be okay. I can trust that they will return and I will see them soon. Alone time isn't as scary as it seems when you trust.
Here is what my alone time looks like...
Pretend Mustaches and braids with bows
Colorful nails and blogging time
Bon Iver Playlist...
What do you do with your alone time?