I've been working on something for awhile now...it's called Letting Go.
I am the kind of person who loves to help all people with their problems. I love talking to people about what is going on in their lives and most of all I like helping them change that. The Biggest problem I've found with that is... people only change if they want to, and they only change if they see a need for change. I may think something they are doing is a problem but they may not. I can't change people. People change people. It is hard for me to step back and let people make mistakes because I hate seeing my friends get hurt but sometimes it takes a few scratches, bruises, stitches, broken arms, broken hearts, broken spirits... to wake someone up and make them realize "oops I need a change". I know it's taken a lot over the years to wake me up and help me grow into the person I want to be. Life is NEVER easy... or fair. I don't like letting go. I feel like when I let go I'm losing the fight. I am not a big fan of feeling like a loser. However, the other day I was telling one of my friends I need to let go of all the hurt I have inside and I thought of this...
Lets say I have a huge closet (i dont... its really small) and lets say its full of clothes I don't really wear anymore. In order to make room in my closet for more clothes that are in style I have to give my OLD clothes to goodwill...or get rid of them.
Ah so now it makes sense. So I am able to make room in my life for good things to happen I must let go of the bad things that have happened. I must let go of the people I am holding on to so that they can grow and so that I can grow. NOT an easy task for someone who saves candy wrappers just because I opened the candy while I was in El Salvador...
Letting go of hurt isn't easy. It is so easy to feel bogged down by all the mean things people have done to you, it's easy to let that affect your faith. But the truth is God's love is constant and even though you are having a rough minute, hour, day, week, month, year, years! God is ALWAYS there with a helping hand, and refreshing glass of water. When we look back on how hard something was in the moment we think "gee that was a mere second of my whole life."
EX: As girly as this sounds... once I had a HUGE crush on this guy but time proved he was the wrong guy for me. When I decided I needed to move on from him and "let go" I was crushed. (side note.. maybe that's why they call them "crushes" because it either turns into something good or... it CRUSHES you.) I thought the world was ending because I had been lied to and lied to again. But now... a year later... I look back and laugh at how occupied I was in that situation and how ridiculous I must have sounded to everyone.
Now there are other times when I look back and still feel bitter, or hurt, or angry. Spending so much time worrying about all of these problems led me to figure this out. (with the help of attending church) You can not just forgive. You must forgive once twice three times over and over and over. It's forgave and forgive. Forgiving is a current thing for a past wound. You may think that you forgave someone in the moment but later, as time moves on, something may come up that reminds you of that hurt from the past and you will again feel bitter, hurt, and angry. That's when you forgive again. and again. and don't stop until you look back and laugh at how silly you were. And when you can laugh at yourself you know... "i made more room in my closet"